January 15, 2010

Making friends

Shit happens!

Disclaimer: I do not support or endorse any of the comments in the picture above. I just find them funny.

January 9, 2010

TCS - a new beginning

I could not find an apt alternative title, so had to make do with the cliche. It is a new beginning for me as a TCS associate. Yes, that's the title one gets for being an employee of TCS. Two weeks into this association and it definitely feels good. TCS is an excellent company with a reputation for certainty and I am truly proud of being a part of the No. 1 IT company in India. The name TATA evokes a certain respect in the Indian mind and I just hope I live up to that image.

No new beginning, however, is perfect. A new beginning means change and this change has been tremendous. The commute, the dress code, the workplace, the colleagues - in short, the newness of it all can be overwhelming at times. My current work location is somewhere near The Leela Kempinski in Andheri and it is not exactly work for us all - it is training or Initial Learning Program as it is officially termed. Most of my colleagues in my batch are not from Mumbai, the dress code is a bit stern, but these are not issues at all. It is the commute that is the grave issue .

Me being a resident of humble Dahisar, my daily commute to The Leela Kempinski involves a bus from Dahisar to Borivali, a train from Borivali to Andheri and a bus (or rick) from Andheri to Marol. The commute to work is fine, but it is the journey back home in the evening that is currently ruining my "association". A 15 minute route from The Leela to Andheri station takes 1 hour by bus and nearly Rs. 30 by rick, both of which are undesirable, but frustratingly the only available options. There are friends to share the fare by rick and there's an alternative, fast route via Sahar Road. But both options hit the wallet hard, especially when you are in the first month of employment.

Andheri East has become a civic nightmare, thanks to the Metro construction. As for the train journey, the first class pass doesn't matter as the rush is same as second class, plus rowdiness and lack of cooperation with fellow commuters makes matters worse. Grumpy young and grumpy old men in first class compartments give stares at the slightest push - they all want their nice little comfort zones in an inhumanly packed rush-hour local! Mumbaikar's spirit - what's that?!

However, I can't grieve too much. I am happy that I am employed after 5 months of the devil's workshop. Things could have been worse. Everything happens for the best. It's time to "Experience Certainty"!!

January 8, 2010


An e-mail doing the rounds today - a day filled with boredom of the highest order


You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.


You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.


You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.


You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.


You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.

Softwarism:(Ultimate. ...):

Client has 2 cows and you need to milk them.

1 . First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off).

2 . Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan).

3 . Prepare a document on exactly how to milk them (Design).

4 . Prepare a list of other accessories needed to milk them (Framework).

5 . Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which you will milk them (UI Mockups & POC).

6 . If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2.

7 . You actually start milking them and find that there are few problems with accessories (Change framework).

8 . Redo step 4

9 . At last milk them and send it onsite (Coding over).

10. Make sure that cow milks properly (Testing).

11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.

12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls.

13. At last milk them onsite and send to client (Testing).

14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test).

15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk.

16. Now the client says that the quality is good but milking is at slow rate (performance issue).

17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.

18. Client is happy???

By this time both the cows are aged and can't milk at all. (The software got old and get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!

I don't know if it is funny or disgusting or what. It's just good timepass to read.
(Disclaimer: Not all of the ideas expressed above are endorsed by the author of the blog)